


It's Complicated

by sfscarlet



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: M/M, community: qaf_giftxchnge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-10
Updated: 2014-01-10
Packaged: 2018-01-08 06:05:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1129208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sfscarlet/pseuds/sfscarlet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gap filler for 414-  part canon part au</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Complicated

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the qafgiftexchange 2013. The request was h/c B/J and happy ending. Could be canon or AU. I combined both canon and AU. Hope you enjoy.

The sun was setting and the cold chill in the air was increasing. Justin looked at Debbie and Ben as he walked up with a cup of coffee for each of them. 

 

"They're okay. I'm sure."

 

"Of course."

 

"The race was over hours ago. Maybe I should borrow my mom's car and go look for them. He told me he wasn't going. He was just starting to get his strength back."

 

"Sunshine, you know you couldn't have stopped him. Brian Kinney is a force all by himself."

 

"But we're partners. I know him better than anyone. I..."

 

"Stop. There is no use beating yourself up over Brian's decision. That man has always been stubborn. I remember when his dad used to beat him," Debbie started, and stopped when she saw the look of surprise on Justin's face. She was taken aback when she realized her mistake.

 

"His dad beat him?" Justin felt a stab in his chest at the thought of Brian's childhood abuse. This explained so many things, including why Brian rarely acknowledged his parents. 

 

"He never told you. I'm sorry. I assumed he..." Realizing her mistake, Debbie tried to perform damage control. Knowing Brian would be furious that she told Justin this information. She started to explain when Justin interrupted.

 

"Go on with your story, Deb. His father's dead and can't hurt him anymore. And I promise I won't mention anything." Justin had learned the Brian Kinney philosophy no apologizes, no regrets, especially when it came to information about himself. He also knew what it might do to his surprisingly fragile ego.

 

"I know you won't tell him. You know he would come over to my place. I tried to call the police or the social worker a few times, especially that one time where I had to take him to the hospital. But he never let me. Said it wouldn't do any good. Said his father would just beat him more. I always felt bad for not protecting him."

 

Justin and Ben gave her a hug.

 

"You gave him a home," Ben said, trying to ease her conscious.

 

"You were good to him. He considers you more of a mom than his own mother," Justin said, referring to the many times he'd heard Brian refer to her as mom.

 

"But I couldn't protect him. My point, Sunshine is Brian Kinney will do whatever he decides and no one can change his mind. Don't go beating yourself up for being tricked into thinking he wasn't going to ride."

 

"But I should have known. I shouldn't have gone to California. I should have..."

 

"Stop. Hindsight is always 20/20 and we can't change what occurred. Besides Brian was there to see us get married. That was a highlight of the ride. He even got us a band and a wedding cake."

 

"He got you a band and a wedding cake in the middle of the wilderness? Unbelievable. I'm sorry I wasn't there." Justin had brief thoughts of one day having a wedding himself, but quickly dismissed them with wishes for the winning lottery ticket and world peace.

 

"Me too. But Emmett took a lot of pictures for us. I'm sure he will share them with you."

 

"Great. I'll have to call him tomorrow and set a time to get together." Justin blew into his gloved hands. He was freezing and was worried about Brian. Brian was still recovering from cancer treatments and while he knew he'd been practicing for the ride, he thought he wasn't going to ride when Justin got offered a visit to Hollywood to pitch "Rage." He should have known Brian had to show everyone how wonderful he was and complete the ride. Brian the asshole had broken his collarbone and insisted on riding the rest of the trip. His thoughts flitted between fury and worry.

 

It was dark and the street was deserted. No one spoke; all of them were deep in thought. They heard a soft crushing of tires on asphalt and Justin looked toward the noise and started running toward it. Debbie pulled him back.

 

"Stop. Let him do it."

 

Justin stopped his run toward the road and walked to the finish line, watching Brian and Michael as Michael supported Brian as he rode the last few feet. As Brian pedaled across the finish line, Justin went to him and helped him off the bike. He wanted to wrap his arm around him and give him a huge hug but he also wanted to yell at him for being such a stubborn asshole that he broke his collar bone. He did neither. Instead he conveyed his love in the familiar way.

 

"Hey."

 

"Hey." Brian said with a hint of a smile on his lips. He was exhausted, hurting and hungry. He wanted a hot bath, food and a great deal of pain killers; not necessarily in that order.

 

"Home?" Justin suggested

 

"Not yet. We should go to the hospital."

 

"I'm not going to any fucking hospital!" Brian yelled and started to walk away.

 

"It isn't for you. Mel had the baby."

 

"Oh. Tomorrow?"

 

Justin nodded. "Tomorrow." Turning toward Michael, Ben and Debbie he said, "Give Mel our love. I'm taking him home."

 

"Take care of him, Sunshine." Debbie said as she fought the urge to reach out and give Brian a hug. "Now, don't you give him any trouble, Brian Kinney. Let him take care of you." She walked toward Michael and Ben as they were loading Michael's bike into the car. 

 

Justin led Brian to a bench and waved him toward it. "I'll go get the car."

 

"If I sit down, I'll never get up."

 

"Then stand and I'll be right back."

 

Justin went to the car and drove it back to where Brian stood. Grabbing the bike, he wrestled it in the car and then Brian made his way to the passenger seat and got in. He went to grab the seat belt, only to yelp in pain at the movement. Justin knew better than to say anything, but gently clicked the belt and then walked to the driver side.

 

Brian closed his eyes and allowed the overwhelming fatigue take over his body. Justin glanced at him every few minutes filled with a mixture of anger and caring. He often wondered how this man managed to fill him with such diverse emotions. While it wasn't very late in the evening, the threat of snow had kept people off the streets. Justin heard the soft snores coming from the passenger seat, thankful that for the moment Brian was resting. Pulling into the parking garage, he turned off the car; allowing Brian to sleep as he unloaded the bike, putting it in the storage locker in the back of the building. When he returned Brian appeared to have woken, most likely as a result of the stopped car.

 

"We're home. Let's get you inside and into a warm shower."

 

Brian frowned but he was too fatigued to respond. He sure as hell wasn't going to mention that he didn't want to stand or that he might need help. He walked to the elevator that was thankfully working and pushed the button for the Loft. Justin opened the heavy door and closed it tight behind him, setting the alarm. He hoped that Michael and Debbie would be so enamored with the new baby that they would leave the two of them alone for a few days.

 

"Undress. I'll go start the water." Justin left toward the bathroom.

 

Brian pulled at his biker shorts and managed to take them off with just a little effort, but every time he tried to maneuver his arm to divest himself of his shirt, he received a jolt of pain and stopped. A few moments later, Justin came out of the bathroom. He untied the sling around Brian's neck and supported the arm as the sling dropped. He maneuvered his good arm through the sleeve then pulled the material for the other arm down. Brian looked at him quizzically.

 

"I broke my arm when I was a kid. I learned to take the good arm out first and then slide the material over the other one. It was a lot harder since there was a cast." Looking at Brian he shook his head. "Well maybe not since you can move your arm, but it hurts like hell. I'll help you until you can do it yourself. Only should be a month or so."

 

"I'm not some fucking two year old that needs your help getting dressed!"

 

Justin sighed at the retort, but decided to hold his tongue for now. Brian was tired, hungry and in pain; hopefully when he was well rested, fed and using the drug of choice he'd not be so unpleasant. Brian walked in the bathroom and stepped in the shower. Bending his knees, he carefully sat down and leaned against the back wall, letting the water wash over his sore body. Justin did not join him, choosing to work in the kitchen making them some food. 

 

Brian relished the feeling of the hot cascading water warming him and easing his aches and pains. He got out only once his skin started pruning. He dried himself off, wrapping a towel around his hips, walking to the kitchen where Justin was stirring a pot of something.

 

"Come in the bedroom and I'll help you put on a shirt." Justin put down the spoon on the spoon rest and walked toward the bedroom, expecting Brian to follow.

 

Brian looked at Justin, a frown on his face as he wanted to object to Justin's coddling, but he knew Justin's determination. He just followed him instead. Walking to the closet Justin chose a shirt and pulled it off the hanger. He put it over Brian's head and then slid it on his arm and then his hurt side. Justin made it look so easy and he thought he was getting the idea.

 

Sitting down to dinner, he took a bit of the soup. "Not bad."

 

Justin smiled, understanding that was praise coming from Brian.

 

Brian ate some additional soup and let the dish warm his body even more.

 

"Tell me about Hollywood. Fuck lots of guys?"

 

"Hollywood was awesome. Lots of beautifullll men and I did do a little tasting."

 

"Wouldn't expect anything different." Brian smiled a faint smile and continued to eat. He wanted to continue the conversation but was too tired and sore to do so. He ate in silence, leaning back slightly in his chair when he'd finished his soup. "Where are the drugs? I think it's time for me to take the good shit."

 

Justin grabbed the drugs from his messenger bag and doled out an Oxycodone for Brian and gave him a glass of water to drink. Brian took the offered pill, retreating to the inviting cushions that were closer to the table than his bed, and with no steps to manage, to sleep. Justin made sure he had a pillow under his arm to support the sling, plenty of blankets and shut off the light. He went to the kitchen to clean up the dishes and put the remainder of the soup away.

 

His phone beeped with a text message from Daphne. "Call me"

 

Checking that Brian was soundly asleep he walked out to the landing and gently pulled the door almost closed; he wanted to block the noise and not disturb Brian. Calling Daphne, he settled in for a long conversation.

 

"What's up?" he said as he heard her familiar hello.

 

"I want to hear all about Hollywood. Did you go to any cool bars? Did you see any movie stars? Tell me you got some sightings of at least one famous star. I just sent Andrew to the store so I've got at least an hour before he returns."

 

"It was amazing. I stayed in Brett's guest house. It gives new meaning to the word luxury. He has his own gym, personal trainer and cook. The guest house is the size of Brian's loft."

 

"Wow."

 

"I went to at least one party a night, sometimes two. The people in Hollywood are really beautiful. And the best part.... Rage got the green light and Brett asked me to be assistant director for the movie."

 

"Justinnnnnnn.... That is so exciting. Are you going to go?" Daphne sat on her bed and kicked her feet up and down.

 

"Duh. I can't wait to tell Brian."

 

"How long will you be gone?" 

 

"6 Months. But I can come home at least once a month. I'll have money. Daph, this is the most exciting thing that has happened to me."

 

"Oh my god, I can't believe it. Justin that's amazing. I bet Brian will be so excited for you." Daphne was glad Justin could not see her face as she frowned at the news of her best friend being away for so long. She quickly chastised herself for her reaction and got excited again about the news. "I know Brian will be so proud of you. I can't wait to hear his reaction."

 

"He always said you celebrate accomplishments so I'm sure we will be celebrating. Unfortunately, I'll have to wait until his collar bone heals." Justin nodded at another tenant as they passed him in the hallway with a bag of groceries. He peered in the doorway to look at Brian and was thankful that he was still sleeping.

 

"Collar bone? What happened to Brian's collar bone?" Daphne's voice rose an octave when she heard about the broken bone.

 

"He was being an asshole and was riding with no hands on the Liberty Ride. He lost control of his bike and broke his collar bone." Justin walked the length of the short hallway a few times as he was too excited to stand still.

 

"Ouch." 

 

"Yeah and here I was ready to go paint the town red, but I'll have to wait." Justin felt his cock harden a little at the visual he formed in his head when he thought of ways to celebrate his success. 

 

"We'll have to get together for lunch this week and you can tell me all about the celebration."

 

"Daphne, one day you will not live vicariously through mine and Brian's sex life." Justin smiled at the easy camaraderie between him and Daphne. He looked up and down the hall to ensure that no one was actually listening to their conversation. Brian would be furious if he knew they talked about their sex life.

 

"I fully expect that you will send me at least one plane ticket. I can't believe you'll be living in Hollywood and making a movie. I can just see it now... I knew Justin Taylor way back when he was a waiter at the Liberty Diner." Daphne laughed at the image. "All the reporters will hunt me down to give them inside scoops regarding "the Justin Taylor". She envisioned reporters calling her for exclusive interviews. "My phone will be ringing off the hook. I guess I better stop going to the grocery in sweats."

 

"You're a goof. But hey, I hear Brian making noises and I better go check on him." 

 

"But, I'm your goof. Love you," Daphne said as she hung up the phone.

 

"Later." 

 

Justin walked back in, closed and locked the door and went to check on how Brian was doing.

 

"You're awake," Justin said as he walked over to Brian.

 

Brian groaned a little and then turned on his good side as Justin lay next to him. "Bicycling down life's endless highways, I had time to think."

 

"About?"

 

"About what I'd do differently if I survived cancer and sleeping in a tent."

 

"Equally unpleasant - I agree. Now that you have, what did you decide?"

 

"I'd like to spend more time with my son- he's of an age now where he needs a strong masculine influence- especially being raised by a couple dykes." Brian got up and walked to the fridge, grabbing a can of soda and popping the top.

 

Justin followed him and sat on the bar chair. Looking at Brian, he asked," Any other decisions?"

 

"I want you to move back in. I'd like it if you and I could live together."

 

Justin gave Brian an incredulous look as he felt his insides flip. He pushed both hands down the front of his face, trying to wipe any expression off his face. 

 

"As for the times when you're not around, I wouldn't particularly mind if you were," Brian said eyeing Justin as he spoke.

 

"I've been waiting for you to ask me this since the first night you brought me here."

 

"So, what do you say? Should I make room in my drawers for your drawers?" Brian stood behind Justin as he said the last words and squeezed his neck with his good hand.

 

Justin turned in the seat and kissed Brian, but Brian sensed the unspoken turmoil. Brian's not good at reading emotions, but he doesn't understand Justin's non answer. 

 

"I was planning on going to the hospital to see the baby. Want to come with me?" Justin asked without giving an answer.

 

"I could care less about seeing any baby. You go. Why don't you pick up some Thai on the way home?"

 

"Okay." Justin pulled on his coat, grabbed his gloves, cell phone and wallet, leaving Brian alone in the loft.

 

Walking to the bus stop, he grabbed a bus to take him to Daphne's instead of going to the hospital. Arriving there, he hoped she could extricate herself from Andrew for at least a little while. Maybe he'd be lucky and Andrew would still be at the store. Knocking on the door, he was pleased that she opened it and hugged him, ushering him inside.

 

"Justin. What happened? I just talked to you. Did Brian and you have a fight? I swear that man can be the most annoying human on the planet. I'll grab my purse and go explain to him that he should treat you better. After all, you've been taking care of him for the last 6 months, even if he refuses to thank you." Daphne walked to her bedroom and started gathering her purse, coat and scarf before Justin touched her arm and pushed her to sit on the bed.

 

"I appreciate your rescue, but I don't need it. Brian's not being a bastard, just the opposite." Justin sat down on the bed beside Daphne and scrubbed his face with his hands. Shaking his head at the change in Brian he said, "He asked me to move in with him."

 

"Oh!!!!! I'm so happy for you. Brian Kinney finally admitted he wants you. Well wonders never cease." Daphne grabbed Justin and gave him a big hug. "So when do you move out of here? I'll help you pack. Not that I don't love having you here, but for Brian to ask you to move in; it's what you always wanted." Daphne put down her coat and hat and grabbed her keys instead. "Come on. I have some boxes in the basement storage area we can use." Daphne looked at Justin, sitting on the bed, no movement to follow her and she resumed her earlier position on the bed next to him.

 

"You look like someone told you your favorite aunt died. I'd think this would make you ecstatic. What gives?"

 

Justin leaned back on the bed, his feet dangling and his head almost off the top. He kicked his feet in frustration. "You do remember I called you a few hours ago and told you Brett asked me to be the assistant art director on the movie?" 

 

"Of course. But what has that got to do with you moving in with Brian?" Daphne mirrored Justin and lay on the bed, dangling her feet over the side. 

 

"I can't just tell him yes and then ... Oh by the way, I'll be gone for the next 6 months. Out of sight, out of mind. He finally admits that he missed me and wants me around and I turn around and leave. Life is so unfair."

 

Daphne hit him playfully on the arm. "You are such a drama queen. People do this all the time. There are phones, texts, and there is this new invention called the airplane. I hear it can get you cross country in a matter of hours."

 

"But they're not the same as being right here and having sex whenever he wants."

 

"So this is about sex?" 

 

Justin sat up on the bed as his head was getting a little dizzy. "No, of course not. Brian Kinney is a very sexual being , but it's not the only thing he is interested in. Besides he can get sex any time and just about anywhere. He doesn't need me for that."

 

"Okay, wise one, why don't you explain it to me as I do not get what is freaking you out so much."

 

He picked up Daphne's keys that had been dropped on the bed and tossed them between his two hands as he thought about his dilemma. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth only to close it a few moments later. Scrubbing his hands over his face, he scrunched his eyes and wrinkled his brow as his hands went toward his neck. 

 

"It's complicated."

 

"What isn't between you two? Try again."

 

"I've waited years for Brian to say anything about permanence, wanting me there on a regular basis. I would know that whatever happened during the day or how much it sucked, at the end of the day, he would be coming home to me. Me, Justin Taylor, not some trick, but me." He poked his index finger to his chest making a point. "If I go to Hollywood, I'm not there at night. He doesn't have anyone to come home to."

 

"So you're just going to give up the Hollywood thing so he can come home to you. That sounds ridiculous. Surely there is a better solution."

 

"I don't want to give up Hollywood, but I really don't want to give up Brian more."

 

"And have you told him any of this?"

 

"Of course not. He doesn't do talking. He'd say we were being lesbians."

 

"Between the two of you I really don't know how you have a relationship. He doesn't want to talk and you're afraid to talk. You make such a great couple." She smiled at him as she made her pronouncement. "You keep saying it isn't about the sex but you're afraid to talk to him. So it can't be about the ‘relationship'."

 

Justin got off the bed and walked to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. He made a great show of opening it and taking a few sips from it before trying again. Standing at the entrance to her bedroom, he leaned against the doorframe and played with the bottle in his hand.

 

"He wants me there, not just for the sex. We have a good time together. I ‘get' him, more so than anyone, even Michael. Brian is very protective of his life, but with me he opens up. He tells me stuff, shares with me his fears and his triumphs. We talk, probably more than anyone ever would imagine, but we're also comfortable in silence. His silences speak volumes, often more than most people's words. If I'm in California working on the movie, it's really hard to support him. Yeah, we can Skype, talk on the phone, email, instant message, Facetime, but none of those are like being in the same room. When he says that the times I'm away he wouldn't mind me being there, he's telling me in Brian Kinney speak that I matter to him and he wants me in his life. If I get up and leave, especially now when he has finally acknowledged our relationship, it would be a slap in the face. He won't ask again. I know Brian. He would decide that my going was more important than me being here and without my presence in his daily life, he won't try again. He's laid himself out there on a limb for me and if I don't take that invitation, I doubt there will be another one."

 

"He asked you once, what makes you think he won't hold the offer open?"

 

"Don't you get it Daphne? If I turn right around and say oh thanks, but I just took an offer in Hollywood, he would decide that he was wrong. We weren't meant to be together, he had a weak moment and then it will be a closed chapter."

 

"You don't know that."

 

"Yeah, I do," he said in a soft whisper. He finished his bottle of water and threw it in the recycle bin in the kitchen. He paced the small kitchen for a few moments. "I'm so screwed. The thing I've most wanted for the last 4 years finally comes true and at the same time, I get offered an opportunity to see my art come to life." He slapped the wall with his good hand and brought it away when it smarted with pain.

 

"What are you going to do?" Daphne walked to the kitchen to get her own bottle of water. Turning toward Justin she gets a deer in the headlights look. "Justin," she said quietly. "When did he ask you this? Tell me he didn't ask you and you walked out on him."

 

Justin pulled his phone out of his pocket and glanced at the time. "I did walk out on him, but I told him I was going to see the baby."

 

"You're an idiot. You know that. As much as he doesn't talk, you run. You deserve each other. Now, Justin Taylor, you march yourself right on that bus and go back to Brian. You are to tell him exactly what is going on and you two will figure this out."

 

"I promised him I would pick up Thai," Justin said in way of explanation.

 

"Then pick up some damn Thai and go home. Talk to Brian. Figure this out, before we both strangle you."

 

Justin hugged Daphne and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for listening."

 

"Listening is easy. Now you go figure this out with your fucked up boyfriend." Daphne made a shooing movement, opened the door and watched as Justin left their apartment.

 

Justin grabbed his cell, saw that it had been several hours since he left and decided he should go buy the Thai food and talk to Brian. He took the bus to their favorite take out place, ordered the food and walked to the Loft. After punching in the code to the building, he decided to walk up to the Loft, giving himself a few extra minutes to plan, but he found his mind flitted too much to plan a strategy. He'd wing it, just like most of his conversations with Brian.

 

Sliding the door open, he found Brian sitting at his desk, staring at his computer. 

 

"Hey."

 

"Took you long enough. I was beginning to think you'd actually gone to Thailand for the food," Brian said, tongue in cheek.

 

Justin put the bag on the island and grabbed several plates and utensils. He grabbed a couple of waters and set those by the plates. Opening the containers, he doled out some of Chicken Satay on a plate and placed some Spring rolls on another. Brian came over and sat down.

 

"So..... how's the baby?" Brian asked, not really caring, but knowing people expected him to care.

 

"I didn't go see the baby."

 

Brian took a bite of his Chicken and chewed, waiting for Justin to continue.

 

"I went to see Daphne."

 

Justin started to take a bite of the Spring roll and put the roll down. He wiped his hands on his pants and swallowed hard.

 

"I assume it has something to do with our little chat this afternoon. You seemed to fly out of here without giving me an answer."

 

Justin couldn't look at Brian; it was too stressful. He looked down at his food and said, "It's complicated."

 

"It doesn't get any less complicated if you don't talk."

 

"I want to move in here with you. I've always wanted that. It just took me by surprise." He picked up his Spring roll again, brought it to his mouth, but put it down without taking a bite, finding his stomach in roils.

 

"Surprise- huh. That's why you ran out of here like a scared cat." Brian took another bite of his Chicken Satay and chewed, looking at Justin the entire time. He recognized the telltale sign of leaving something out. "If you don't want to move in, fine. Just say it. I'm a big boy. I can take it."

 

"No, I do want it. It's just...."

 

"I'm in no mood to play 20 questions, Justin. Just say it."

 

"Something happened in Hollywood." Justin looked at Brian hoping he wasn't watching his face, but he found Brian eyeing him carefully. "Brett offered me a job."

 

"I assume you accepted." Brian felt like he'd been slapped in the face, hit in his shoulder and someone twisted his bad arm all at once. He was surprised at the feelings running through his mind and his body's reaction to Justin's words. But true to form, he couldn't or wouldn't let Justin know how he felt; remaining neutral to the information.

 

"I did, but..." Justin swallowed hard, and this time took a bite of his Spring roll, giving him something to do for at least a few moments.

 

"What is so complicated? You go to Hollywood. Forget about me. This is your big chance to make it with your art." Looking down at his plate of food, he felt a sense of betrayal and sadness. Finally realizing what he wanted in life, it was quickly taken away from him. He chided himself knowing that he obviously didn't deserve happiness. He'd been told this so many times as a child growing up, he'd begun to believe it. He was somewhat amazed that he was able to talk with such an even keel, but he'd had lots of experience in hiding his emotions through the years and the self-preservation just kicked in.

 

"That's just it, Brian. I don't want to forget about you. I knew that would be your answer. I want both; you and Hollywood." Justin's eyes filled a little with moisture but he ignored them, not wanting to draw attention to his emotions. "Don't you see? I don't want to choose. You are important to me; and I want to work on Rage. I want you and Hollywood."

 

Brain listened, saw the impassioned plea in Justin's voice and heard the anguish in his voice. He wondered when he'd gotten soft. Used to be, before Justin and Gus, he really didn't care what others thought or felt. It was different now. Riding down the cold streets of Pennsylvania, he had time to think.

 

He was used to doing everything for himself. His parents were useless; his mom was an alcoholic and his father stayed away from the family hanging with the boys. It wasn't until he was old enough and made a lot of money that his father came to acknowledge him and that was only to show his buddies at the bar that his son was a big hotshot. He took credit for all of Brian's success even though he had nothing to do with it, even as little as putting food on the table since Brian often had to go shopping since his mom was drunk by mid-day. 

 

He'd gone to college on an athletic scholarship and worked hard so he could land the internship with Ryder. Then Ryder sold to Vanguard and continued working his ass off until the whole Stockwell debacle. He even opened Kinnetik and fought and survived fucking cancer.

 

Then there was Gus and Justin. Both came into his life on the same night and changed him forever. He couldn't imagine his life without either of them. He'd finally accepted that Justin was a part of him, he felt incomplete without him and he'd taken the ultimate steps toward that end; he'd asked him to move in with him, guaranteeing his being a part of his life. Now Justin was telling him that he'd been offered a position in Hollywood, a dream job and fuck all that it wasn't clear across the damn country. If he was honest with himself, he didn't want to give up Justin in his life and Justin was making that abundantly clear. Could he finally allow himself the happiness he admitted he wanted, albeit just a few days ago?

 

He heard Justin's words and also the unspoken message that Justin found him worthy. Deciding that he wanted to move forward with his plan he took one last sip of water, finishing the bottle. 

 

"Okay."

 

"Brian I know what you're thinking. You're thinking love isn't about sacrifice, but life...." Justin stopped short when his mind registered Brian's words. "Okay?" Justin wanted to hug Brian but knew he couldn't do that with his broken collar bone. Instead he chose to kiss him fully on the lips, ever mindful of the injured man.

 

"We'll work it out. Now, are we done being lesbians, can we move on?"

 

Justin recognized Brian speak for we're done. He smiled his famous ‘Sunshine smile' and started quizzing him. He said, "So tell me about the ride? What was it like sleeping in a tent? I want to hear about the wedding. I wish I could have been there."

 

"The ride was okay. It was cold and being with so many fags, none of whom I wanted to fuck was such a novel experience." Brian grinned, tongue in cheek and finished his Chicken dish. Pushing it away, he added, "Remember when Stockwell was closing all the back rooms and we had to resort to doing it in a refrigeration truck? This was worse; at least there the steel sheltered the wind. Here, you had the wind, the cold and the hard ground. Not a pleasant experience. Next time, I'll just donate the money minus the ride."

 

Justin laughed at Brian's humor and storytelling, always enjoying the way Brian embellished his stories with anecdotes. He thought about being away from Brian for so long and was unhappy at that prospect. Maybe he could convince Brian to visit him in California. He could afford to fly home with the money he was making and he was sure a few long weekends could be arranged. He thought of Daphne's accusation regarding their relationship and realized no one but them understood the connection. Each of them filled a need for the other, completed the whole instead of being two separate people. It did sound very lesbionic and he knew he wouldn't share that thought with Brian, but the more time he spent with Brian the more he realized and accepted they were both better with the other person around.

 

Brian yawned and stretched, but stopped when his body rebelled from the movement. "Shit! That hurt!"

 

Looking at the clock, Justin walked to his messenger bag and shook out the next dose of Brian's meds. Filling a glass with some water, he brought them to Brian. "Take these."

 

Brian held out his hand for the proffered meds, swallowed them and some water. "Thanks."

 

That little word meant the world to Justin; it was Brian's way of saying he appreciated the efforts Justin was making to take care of him. Justin didn't respond; he knew none was needed. Brian walked to the bedroom where he held out his arm for Justin to help him take off his shirt and Justin helped him. No words were exchanged; no thank you or pleases, just a silent understanding that Brian needed help and Justin was there to provide it. This is what partners did and they were partners.

 

Epilogue:

 

 

2 Months later

 

Justin finished up for the night at the studio, hurrying for the exit before he was waylaid by Brett or another of the art staff. It had been a really long week and he was looking forward to the weekend. He had arranged to take a long weekend in two weeks and was hoping to fly home to Pittsburgh to see everyone, but especially Brian. He'd promised his mom that he would at least spend one evening with her and he also had to see Michael about the Rage comic book. Daphne garnered some of his free time too; therefore there was only a little time left for him and Brian. Maybe he should ask for a week off, instead of a long weekend, but he knew there was a tight deadline and he had agreed to it. Telling Brett that he would take the job, but with the understanding that he be guaranteed a long weekend every month was a stipulation in finalizing the contract. Brett was more than eager to grant the stipulation since Justin's demands were mild compared to the many stars he worked with.

 

Last month he managed to fly home and thoroughly enjoyed the time. It was a whirlwind few days but he returned refreshed and ready to work. He had a lot to do this weekend if he were to enjoy the time off next weekend; therefore he wanted to get out as soon as he could to take care of business. 

 

Driving into his little rented bungalow he saw a different car in the lot. He didn't think anything about it since there were always new tenants renting the places. Opening the door, he dropped his keys in the little basket and toed off his tennis shoes. Walking to the kitchenette, he grabbed a bottle of beer and popped the top.

 

"Grab one for me, Sunshine," Brian yelled from the little bedroom off the kitchen.

 

Justin almost dropped his beer and hurried into the bedroom. 

 

"What? ... How... Brian...?"

 

"Are you just going to ask questions all day or are you going to join me?" Brian asked as he stroked his naked cock.

 

Justin put down his beer on the table inside the bedroom and quickly divested himself of his clothing. 

 

"I missed you." Justin kissed Brian's face. "Can't believe you're here." Justin kissed his neck. 

 

"I didn't want to wait, so here I am. Now be a good partner and hand me the lube."

 

The words were music to his ears and he did as he was told, handing the lube to Brian. 

 

"I'm glad you're here."

 

"Me too."

 

The end


End file.
